Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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