thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
A bitchslap is in order.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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