Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
