i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize