Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
