you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
