if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
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