She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
