I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Randomize
