I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
