hell yes lets make some ravioli
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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