Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
