I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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