I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
