White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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