Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
what is it with giant penises always finding me
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
