Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm gonna fight the coyote
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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