ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
