so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize