Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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