so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
