Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize
