Just fell off a train. Bad.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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