Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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