I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
