I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
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It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
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he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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