She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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