So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
