we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
