i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
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