Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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