Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
