lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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