Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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