that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
