Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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