As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
