so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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