She is in my trunk
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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