I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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