help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
