You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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