So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
