i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
