I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
If I had your ass I would rule the world
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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