walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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