It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
