I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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