Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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