we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
