and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize