Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
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Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
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