but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
