this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
