Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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