I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
pop tarts are not kleenex
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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