We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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