My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
