so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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