hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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